First Peek

I got my first glimpse of our baby at my ultrasound this morning!  (Forgive the glare on my photo: it's a picture of the picture.  I can't scan.)  He/she doesn't look like much at this point, but it was a beautiful sight to me.  Little One measures about half a centimeter long; that little bright spot between the 2 crosses is the heart. And it was beating!  Isn't God wondrous? Praise the Lord!!

Josh and I are a little sad because just seeing one baby means that the other one died (remember, they transferred 2), but we know that the Lord is in control even of that little life, and we REJOICE in the one that is still alive!

Keep praying--I'm not out of the woods yet.  The doctor wants to see me again next week for another scan, and he said that after that point the miscarriage rate drops greatly.  Probably then, if all is well, we will make our news public.  Though as I write this, probably half the world knows anyway; I've had a hard time keeping my mouth shut, and so have my Facebook friends--you know who you are!  (no worries though; you all were very discreet!) :)

Reunion Weekend

Last weekend Josh, Noah, and I headed to Greenville, SC for our 10 year college reunion.

Class reunions are funny things.  On the one hand, Josh and I were excited to see our classmates from college, but on the other hand we almost chickened out in the parking lot just before the reunion started.  "What if we don't know anybody?  What if we can't remember their names?  What if no one remembers us?  Our fears were unfounded, though.  Not only did I recognize everyone, but I even remembered a lot of their names, and was surprised at how many remembered me too.  While we didn't see any of our really close friends from college, we did see a fair number of people that we had known decently well, and were able to catch up with them.

Other highlights from our weekend in Greenville included a hike on Paris Mountain, a walk through Reedy River Park, a haircut from my fabulous sister-in-law Andrea (oddly I didn't take a photo of that), and getting to talk with Dave and Andrea for a while.

I was hoping to have a photo of all the classmates at the reunion, but as far as I can tell, it hasn't been posted yet.  If you follow this link it should bring you to a photo of me talking to a girl from my society, and you can see Josh sitting behind me.  Sorry, that's the best I can do at this point for a picture from our reunion. :)

6 Weeks and Counting

Today I am 6 weeks pregnant.  Is it me, or is time standing still?  Maybe it just feels that way because I have an ultrasound scheduled for Friday, and it's taking forever to get here.  :)  Lord-willing by then, we should be able to see a heartbeat or two to reassure me that this all is more than just a really good dream.

With the exception of a cold that I came down with yesterday, I feel pretty good so far.  With Noah's pregnancy I was sick by this point.  I'm trying not to let the fact that I feel pretty much great worry me.  Keep trusting the Lord, right?

Right.

It's Only Logical

Noah:  "Daddy, is it true that if people laugh too hard they will cry?"

Josh:  "Yes.  That happens!"

Noah:  "So then if you cry too hard, will it make you laugh?"

Spring Break

Who would have thought pre-schoolers would get a spring break?  Not me, but nevertheless this week we find ourselves not having to rush out the door every morning, and spending all day everyday together.  It's been nice actually.

Yesterday was Laundry Day, so we had Brianne and Titus come over for the morning.  That way the kids could play and I could sort, load, transfer, fold, and put away to my heart's content.

Today we went to the zoo!  Along with everyone else in Jacksonville. :)  Jen and I took our kids and a lunch and spent a beautiful couple of hours there.

 
Lord-willing later in the week we plan to go to Greenville, SC for our 10 year college reunion.  How is that even possible?

An Announcement

For the past 4 years I have been daydreaming about how I would share this news on my blog.  Would I be witty? Cute? Sappy? Creative?  However, I am finding that when God has at last answered your dearest, longest-standing, most fervent prayer request, you really don't have the composure to be creative or any of the rest.  No beating around the bush for me.

I am pregnant!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

This is nothing short of a miracle from God, and the shock of it has taken a few days to sink in.  In fact, it is still sinking in.  I still feel as though I am dreaming.  Best. Dream. Ever. :)  Telling Noah was one of the best parts.  Here is a child who has been praying for this every single time he prays since he was able to talk, and God answered!  Noah literally jumped up and down, he was that excited.

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever."  Ps 30:11

If you prayed for us, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I could see the Lord's hand in this through every single step of this process.  It is still very early yet, so we are cautiously optimistic.  We are continuing to pray for my pregnancy and hope you will too.

Oh, and how's this for appropriate?  Lord-willing, I'm due Thanksgiving week.  It doesn't get much truer than that.

Weekend Company

We had the blessing over the weekend of hosting a family in our home from Josh's home church in CT.  They have 6 school-age children, and were passing through on their way to Orlando.  We had such a great visit with them!! I barely saw Noah because he was constantly playing with one or more of the kids.  As usual, I didn't take a single photo of the event, though I'm kicking myself now, because there were so many shots I could have taken:

How about the one where 4 of the kids slept on one queen-sized air mattress on Noah's floor?
Or the one where Matt and 3 or 4 of the kids piled into the kayak and went for a ride?
Or one of the buffet lines we created at mealtime. Feeding 15 people (including Matt and Jen's family gets interesting! And fun!)
Even a great group shot.  But no.  I'm the one with the camera, often in my hand, who forgets to take pictures.  Maybe I'll go snag a photo of their family from FB:

Anyway, a fun time was had by all. :)

Turning It All Over To God

I wanted to get this written while I'm still on this side of the results.  This is a unique place to be--this not knowing.  You want to believe that the Lord will answer your prayer, but you're scared to hope lest those hopes crash down around you in broken shards.

I have not been the most stable person over the last week.  One minute I'm convinced I'm pregnant (the progesterone shots alone will do that to you), the next minute I'm convinced I'm not, and already trying not to be too discouraged.  The minute after that I remind myself that these 2 little lives are God's anyway, and I can trust Him to do what is best for me, for my family, and for His glory.  That last thought is the only sane one in the bunch, and is the only one that frees me from the bondage of  What Ifs.  Here are some stabilizing truths that I've had to come back to over and over again, as I turn my mind battles over to the Lord minute-by-minute (second-by-second?).

God is in control.  Whatever God's chosen outcome for this, He did it on purpose.

God is good.  This will be for my good, no matter what the outcome.

God loves me.  He sent His Son to die for me; what further proof do I need?

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.  Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil.  It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones."  Prov 3:5-8

Amen.

Puzzle Happy

I haven't been taking too many pictures of my little Noah-Son lately.  Been kind of distracted.  BUT he's still here, still as energetic as ever, and I love him so much!

Lately with my restricted activity, we've been into puzzles.  Only I have little attention span for the kid puzzles with pieces as big as Noah's hand, so we've been delving into Grown-Up Puzzles.  Ones with at least 400 small pieces, with lots of grass or water or trees....the ones that are actually kind of hard.  Noah fits right in though! (get it?  Sorry that was awful.)  He works at it and is triumphant when he finds where a piece goes.  The puzzle pictured above was perfect for us because it had larger pieces mixed into the same puzzle with little pieces, making it really family-friendly.

Oompa-Loompa Wisdom

Noah and I recently finished reading Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, by Roald Dahl.  This one was probably Noah's biggest challenge yet, with trying to keep the characters straight ("Mommy, which one was Veruca Salt? Was she the one who just had to scream and her dad got her whatever she wanted?"), but the two of us really enjoyed it all the same.

I found it to be a surprisingly accurate commentary on today's children, though the book was published in 1964.  Each child in the book is a caricature of what can happen as a result of bad parenting.  So not only did it entertain, but it provided a gentle rebuke for my parenting techniques.  Even better.

Here's what I mean:

"The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, Never, NEVER let
Them near your television set--
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.

In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen....
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotized by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking, ghastly junk.

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink--
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?....

His brain becomes as soft as cheese!
His powers of thinking rust and freeze!
He cannot think--he only sees!...."

Those Oompa-Loompas have a point!  Since reading this book, our TV has been on less. :)

PUPO

To those who were praying for us, THANK YOU!  The transfer went very very well this morning.  Despite a bad night of sleep for me, the Lord gave me such a calm and peaceful spirit before, during, and after.  I was home by 10am, and I have been on bed rest for the whole day.  I dusted off my chick flicks (hello, Pride and Prejudice! Nice to see you again!), and parked myself on the couch, praising the Lord for Matt and Jen, who were so kind to pick up Noah from school and watch him at their house for the afternoon.

I am now what IVF'ers call PUPO, or Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.  Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?   I have to say, it is a GREAT feeling!  I thank the Lord for the privilege of carrying these two babies for whatever length of time He gives me.  I hope and pray that it is 9 months!!  Keep us in your prayers, please!  It is all up to God whether these little babies make it or not.

And now all we have to do is wait...  Two weeks til testing!

I hope in the interim to post about other things.  Remember, I used to do that before IVF took over my blog. :)

Transfer Tomorrow!

We got our fertilization report back early this morning:  there are 4 embryos!  Praise the Lord!  Lord-willing we plan to transfer two of them tomorrow (Friday) morning at 8am, and then freeze the other two for a future transfer.  Praying and hoping beyond hope that we will be blessed with another child (or children!!) to hold here on earth.  Will you pray with us?

"For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly."  Psalm 84:11